2009
2009 has not been the easiest of years, I’ve lost people I’ve cared for, considered leaving everything behind and forced myself to see the ugly truth behind so many things, but most importantly, there have been things I have wanted to say but never did, I would like to use this to say those things even though they may never be read.
To the man who stole me heart and gave it back to me in pieces….
You changed my life, in good ways and bad. Although angry at you for choices you made, you taught me something valuable…..so thankyou. Thankyou for showing me love, for showing me how I could love someone, even if it wasn’t meant to be you. But you also changed my life in bad ways…..you tore me apart, and I was just left to pick up all the pieces, but I AM a better person now. I’ve learnt to be me, to fight for what I believe in, to fight for what matters and not to back down, everyone deserves to be happy.
To my best friend darmo…I can never thank you enough. You don’t judge me, you don’t look down at me and you always stick by me, you are an incredible friend. I don’t tell you that enough.
To my best friend Ti….we’ve had disagreements, we’ve laughed till we’ve cried, and we’ve cried. The thing with you and I is, we’re opposites and it makes things so much fun, thankyou for helping me through things and being passionate about our friendship, thankyou so much.
To my Mathy muffin…….for all the times I have freaked you out, thanks for sticking with me and being my friend, you mean so much to me, we’ve laughed and talked for hours on end and said some suss stuff haha J thankyou!
To my brother James….my very best friend for the past 17 years. Your always there for me, no matter what, you always have been, thankyou, from our crazy car rides, to our contemplative conversation, we laugh, we joke around and we have the best of times. I know I haven’t been the easiest sister to have this year but you didn’t give up on me once, thankyou. Yesterday you told me I needed to be spontaneous, You missed the fun me, and for one second I realised finally that that was what had been missing from my life.
So we went down the beach and walked along the beach and talked and joked and again, I felt like me, I forgot about my problems and I grew a little more because of you. Thankyou for everything not just this year….you are truly an amazing brother.
To my beautiful mother…..this year I haven’t been there as much as normal, I haven’t been anywhere really. At times I lost sight of what was important, but somehow you managed to stick by me anyway. You’re my mother, but your also my best friend, when I’m down you make me feel like I’m loved and you make me laugh, you’re an amazing woman don’t ever doubt that….thankyou for everything you’ve ever done for me, not just this year, thankyou for the nights when I was little where I was scared, or the screaming from James spraying me with the garden hose. You never gave up on me, thankyou.
To my someone who captivated my heart, you might never read this, but if you do you’ll know who you are. Thankyou for being in my life. You might think your not good enough, but from my soul this comes, you are. When my days bad, I remember you and a smile appears on my face. Sometimes I look at you and I think ‘it doesn’t get any better than that’, You make my world better.
I hope one day I can do the same for you. My heart is with you….
This year, hasn’t been easy, I’d be lying if I said it was. I’ve been heartbroken, I’ve been happy, I’ve wanted to leave everything behind and give up and I’ve also wanted to scream from the highest building.
To every single one of you, THANKYOU….I couldn’t do it without you….because you make me and I’m always here for you. Remember something, when your walking through the street, say hello to people and smile at them….they may ignore you, they might say hello, they might become your best friend or you might eventually marry one of them and that chance is worth that one word. Keep smiling and I love you all :)
Zo xx
